Do you want to go to bed?
Ask a child this, and there are only two answers:
- Yes
- No
And of course, the child will say “no”. Not what we wanted. But a perfectly valid answer to a yes/no question.
And the best way to stop a “no”? Don’t allow “no” as an answer!
Instead, offer them options. For example, change the question to “when do you want to go to bed – in five minutes or ten minutes?” – their answers now are:
- Yes – I’ll go in five
- Yes – I’ll go in ten
They no longer have “no” as an answer. Of course, they could reply “neither – please can I have 15 minutes?” And then you can choose to agree or not – a fairly easy chat to have. But they’re unlikely to reply “no – please can I stay up for three hours?” or “no – I’m never going”
The way to turn a yes/no question into a yes/yes ‘options question’ is by using one of the question words:
- “When do you want to go to bed – five minutes or ten?”
- “How do you want to go to bed – shall I carry you, or shall we have a race?”
- “Who do you want to take you to bed – me or your brother?”
- “We’re going to bed soon. Which shall we do first – put pyjamas on, or clean teeth?”
Right, that’s enough of that analogy. Now let’s use some real-life business examples…
In a meeting with someone, and wanting to meet them again?
- Do NOT say “Shall we meet again?” – they might say NO
- Instead, say “When shall we meet again – later this week, early next week, a different time?”
When you want to make a sale:
- Do NOT say “This will cost £100. Do you want it or not?” – they might say NOT
- Instead, say “The good news is, we have two options here. We could either do X – that will cost £100. Or we could do Y – which will bring the price to £60. Which do you prefer?”
We could do more examples. But you get the point. Always offer options. And you’ve turned a yes/no choice into a yes/yes. All of which means…
… I could ask you “Will you use this technique?” – but you might reply NO. So instead, I’ll ask you…
Action Point
When will you first use this technique today – in your first meeting, or your first chat?
Or…
Of everyone you know, who do you think this technique will work best with?
Or… or…
(Quick note: I’ll leave you alone during August. Have a wonderful month. I hope you get some time away. You’ll get your next Tip early-September. Until then…)